The Can Man

Bernard Lewis is The Can Man. I met him in the underground warren of the New York subway system while he was making and selling his cans a couple of weeks ago.

To most cans consumers they are disposable, discardable. There are plenty of people here in New York City who get by collecting cans and cashing them in for 5 or 10 cents. The are not subtle, they have mastered the art of pushing multiple shopping carts that are overflowing with garbage bans fully of salvaged cans, that is an art form in itself- but not a profitable one.

Bernard could have done that. On first impressions Bernard is more likely to be cashing in cans than enjoying their sweet internal goodness- his tattered cardboard home made sign and grubby appearance gave it away.

But instead of exchanging his cans for 5 cents a piece Bernard skillfully moulds them into interesting sculptures. He crafts them while spooking himself and his cans and it's hard to not see the mastery in his delicate moulding. Bernard does more than recycle, more than open a perspective for function, value, appreciation to the people that pass by him. Bernard invited himself a vocation and what I imagine is a profitable income.

I stood and watched the crowd for a few minutes and everyone I saw purchasing the cans or tipping for the videos/ photos they took was not acting out of pity, they were buying the cans because they couldn't walk away without one! They respected his work, his manner and prices. Thats how I got this one- just $3 for a real life piece of modern day subway life and innovation.

It reminds me of this awesome project: 

2011. We Made It

wow. we made it. and what a year we made. 

It's that time of year; to think forward to who you want to be when December 31 2012 is here. and what skills do you need to build or maintain to become that person?

14 days left of 2011. Thinking caps on...hearts in hand... imagination open... self belief engaged...ready...set...go! 

true story

Walking to the train the other day I heard this convosation from a mid-20's couple...

Boy: Looks at girl. Smiles. Does one skip. 

Girl: Bursts out laughing. Recovers from laughing and says; "I love that you do things to make me happy."

Boy: Smiles. Keeps walking. Thinks for a moment. Looks at girl and stops working. Then he says;

"I do things to make US happy."

Girl: Smiles and say "Perfect." 

Boy: Smiles. 

They hold hands and keep walking. 

Nice right? It made me think that its good to give something that makes someone else happy but its better to give something that creates a sustainable happiness.

I'll start... "Have a nice day :)"

I'm Skipping Here.

Walking home tonight, on the corner of 91st and Madison in the well to do neighborhood of the Upper East Side of New York City, I saw a balding middle age man skipping along the road with a 7 year old girl.

 He looked just as delighted with life as she did.

What's the lesson here? :) 

How long can you be grateful for?

For years I have admired the tradition of Thanksgiving. The idea that you take time to come together with your people and be active in your gratitude.

This year is my first American Thanksgiving and while the stores are already smothered in everything Christmas I am not distracted. I decided to make the 26 days of Thanksgiving- one day for every year of me. Not a daunting thought, I knew it would feel great to actually do something with all my gratitude. 

So everyday I choose one thing I am grateful for that. I find a corresponding photo and add the essence of my gratitude to the photo in a simply line or two of text. Then I post it on facebook and tag my friends that generate those situations in my life

I’m on day 3. It hasn't been hard; it’s been an absolute pleasure. So I was blow away today when a dear friend of mine said, "How's it going? How long are you doing it for? 26 days? I don’t know how I could find something everyday."

And all my brain could process was "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" you can't write a list right now of 26 things you are grateful for? That leaves me with 2 questions;

1) What is life like for you? 

2) How did you get to be one of my best friends if you think like that? 

I think a fundamental component is perspective. It’s like you are in high-rise apartments. You look out your window and you can’t control the scene; the city layout, the weather or the time of day. But you control what you don’t see.

It’s when you know that there is something out there that you want to see but you can’t quite get the perspective on it from your window that you have the chance to learn the great expanse of potential ways of seeing something available to you.

Maybe you just need to open the curtains. Or maybe you need to go to another floor or even up to the roof for the best vantage point. We all have time where we have to call room service and ask for some help to get us to the best viewing point. These days the first step for many of us is to turn off the TV, put down our smart phones and actually LOOK out the window. And notice what we see.

Last month I saw an exhibition called “Through my Window” by Korean photographer Ahae. He spent 3 years and took 1 million photos from one window in his house. Upon seeing the diverse landscapes, season and activity captured in his photos my question was “how big was his window?” the answer: “regular, as big as yours.”

Here are my 26 days of Thanksgiving.

So there are my 26 days of Thanksgiving. At least half of the 3.5 weeks I was having a challenging time and some days I found it harder than I ever expected to find my contribution to this project for that day.  Sometimes I was boarder line resentful I had set myself this task but it always brought good things and mostly I was excited to do it. To search for those things, choose just one to represent my day and think of a photo to pair it with. 

I learnt this lesson which has already proved its value:

It's not always about having something amazing happen each day to be thankful for. Sometimes I need to reflect on something that wasn't bad and be thankful it happened; because without it my day would have been worse. 

And something I realized many moons ago:

Happiness and positivity are not the same thing; but being positive and grateful sure help lead me to happiness. 

Thanks for reading ;)

Be Thankful for something random- it will make you happier.

Despite the Christmas decorations dominating the stores Thanksgiving is in the air in NYC. Tonight a 5 year old trying to push my buttons said that he was thankful for his poo. It took me back a few years to a story I herd on a PricewatherhouseCoopers leadership development retreat. 

A young father, away from his newborn for the first time, told a story how he and his wife love changing their baby's nappy (dipper). They celebrated every poo because poo means everything is working right. The story stuck with me as I loved the way they found to take pleasure in what can be a gag worthy job. 

One of the best things I have learnt is that when I am happy I am more grateful. And that works in reverse. Being thankful makes me happier, and I think it will for you too. Happy Thanksgiving! 

Wisdom form a 5 year old

Currently my days begin at 6 am. After a walk though Central Park and Harlem by 7:30 am you can find me trying my best to wriggle clothes onto a 5 year old as I help him get off to school. 'Wrangling' is how I currently describe what I do at work but this morning we had a nice chat while he giggled and bounced his way into his clothes. Currently I refer to him as sergeant as he is going to be a police officer this halloween.

SERGEANT: Ah! (screams) What's going on?!? (he has his shirt on but one arm is not its sleeve so it's stuck by his torso as he tries to flap it)

ME: Come on. (in my calm, hypnotic, lets just keep trucking voice)

SERGEANT: My arm. It's left out.

ME: Well... you know how to fix that.

SERGEANT: Yeah. I need to put it where it belongs and then it won't be left out anymore.

I just thought this was a beautiful parallel: when you are where you belong you can not be left out.

Culture, family ties, location, your past.... none of these things determined where we belong. I don't know what does. But I have been graced to find that if you don't fit in where you are, its not that you don't fit in anywhere, just that you have to go hunting, searching, floating around being open till you find your place. Seek and you will find.

And all of that makes me think of this...

” Some people do not have to search, for they find their niche easily in life and rest there seemingly contented and resigned. At times I envy them, but usually I do not understand…and seldom do they understand me. I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we completely content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power and unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests, mountains, deserts, hidden rivers and lovely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as our laughter, to share our sadness with the ones we love is perhaps as great a joy as we know, unless it is to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself and for anything beautiful it can provide. Most of all, we want to love and be loved, to live in a relationship that will not impede our wanderings and prevent our search. We do not want to prove ourselves to others or compete for love. This passage is for wanderers, dreamers, and lovers who dare to ask of life, everything which is good and beautiful.”

-Found on the door of a deserted store in Colorado

I was once told  by a leader in my work place/ community/ peer group, in front of a large portion of the community that "I was so unique I will never fit in anywhere." AKA 'you don't belong and you can't change that.'  I took his word as gospel. All my experience to date wasn't debating what he said. Besides everyone always listened to his thoughts and made them their own. So if nothing else it had been decided.
Sadly he was just trying to be nice. Seeing the positive in why I was not so readily embraced and at ease in a place that was fundamentally about authentic human connection and being embraced for being exactly who you are. Well you know what. WRONG BUDDY! And I am so much happier fitting where I do than I could have been in the situation that just wasn't right.

When I feel left out these days I have to remind myself that I am not as though it is fact and I have to talk to someone, who I know cares for me, how I feel. And then I see my feelings of isolation are not the reality :)

Often you have to seek it and always you have to claim it. Wish you luck and strength to find your niche xx

When every song is the message you have been searching for

This week there was no further delaying making some changes. I had been busy long enough and I had run out of time to be distracted by other things, they were going to change whether I did something or not.

In trying to find the right decision my search wasn't for answers or advice or even inspiration this time. All I needed was wisdom. Surely there is someone out there, but  don't know anyone, who has been in my position and could give me insight from the other side- which is really what I wanted.

Every song I listened to seemed to have a message directly relating to me. Which is bizarre, cool but also tricky.

On Tuesday night I fulfilled a 14 year old life dream and saw this song performed live by its original artist.
It's an oldy but a goody. Love it or hate it there are some good thoughts...

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Chorus:
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
no one knows
(Repeat Chorus)
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.
(Repeat Chorus)
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

There is inspiration under your roof

I have 3 house mates. this weekend;

one ran a marathon (in San Francisco = lots of hills!)

another got the job she wanted 

and the other moved beyond a broken heart to reconnect with an old friend.

48 hours and a lot of inspiring action.

We talk about appreciating what we have 'in our own back yard' but one better, you dont even have to get out of bed to share some commonalities. If you don't have inspiration under your own roof;

1: look harder

2: do something inspiring

3: move. 

I'm really proud of you ladies! 

New York City is a 2 part process

New York City is a two part process.

step one: get here. 


step two: act like it. do things that you can't do when your not here, start something new, sink your teeth and savor the taste.