Wisdom form a 5 year old

Currently my days begin at 6 am. After a walk though Central Park and Harlem by 7:30 am you can find me trying my best to wriggle clothes onto a 5 year old as I help him get off to school. 'Wrangling' is how I currently describe what I do at work but this morning we had a nice chat while he giggled and bounced his way into his clothes. Currently I refer to him as sergeant as he is going to be a police officer this halloween.

SERGEANT: Ah! (screams) What's going on?!? (he has his shirt on but one arm is not its sleeve so it's stuck by his torso as he tries to flap it)

ME: Come on. (in my calm, hypnotic, lets just keep trucking voice)

SERGEANT: My arm. It's left out.

ME: Well... you know how to fix that.

SERGEANT: Yeah. I need to put it where it belongs and then it won't be left out anymore.

I just thought this was a beautiful parallel: when you are where you belong you can not be left out.

Culture, family ties, location, your past.... none of these things determined where we belong. I don't know what does. But I have been graced to find that if you don't fit in where you are, its not that you don't fit in anywhere, just that you have to go hunting, searching, floating around being open till you find your place. Seek and you will find.

And all of that makes me think of this...

” Some people do not have to search, for they find their niche easily in life and rest there seemingly contented and resigned. At times I envy them, but usually I do not understand…and seldom do they understand me. I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we completely content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power and unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests, mountains, deserts, hidden rivers and lovely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as our laughter, to share our sadness with the ones we love is perhaps as great a joy as we know, unless it is to share our laughter. We searchers are ambitious only for life itself and for anything beautiful it can provide. Most of all, we want to love and be loved, to live in a relationship that will not impede our wanderings and prevent our search. We do not want to prove ourselves to others or compete for love. This passage is for wanderers, dreamers, and lovers who dare to ask of life, everything which is good and beautiful.”

-Found on the door of a deserted store in Colorado

I was once told  by a leader in my work place/ community/ peer group, in front of a large portion of the community that "I was so unique I will never fit in anywhere." AKA 'you don't belong and you can't change that.'  I took his word as gospel. All my experience to date wasn't debating what he said. Besides everyone always listened to his thoughts and made them their own. So if nothing else it had been decided.
Sadly he was just trying to be nice. Seeing the positive in why I was not so readily embraced and at ease in a place that was fundamentally about authentic human connection and being embraced for being exactly who you are. Well you know what. WRONG BUDDY! And I am so much happier fitting where I do than I could have been in the situation that just wasn't right.

When I feel left out these days I have to remind myself that I am not as though it is fact and I have to talk to someone, who I know cares for me, how I feel. And then I see my feelings of isolation are not the reality :)

Often you have to seek it and always you have to claim it. Wish you luck and strength to find your niche xx

When every song is the message you have been searching for

This week there was no further delaying making some changes. I had been busy long enough and I had run out of time to be distracted by other things, they were going to change whether I did something or not.

In trying to find the right decision my search wasn't for answers or advice or even inspiration this time. All I needed was wisdom. Surely there is someone out there, but  don't know anyone, who has been in my position and could give me insight from the other side- which is really what I wanted.

Every song I listened to seemed to have a message directly relating to me. Which is bizarre, cool but also tricky.

On Tuesday night I fulfilled a 14 year old life dream and saw this song performed live by its original artist.
It's an oldy but a goody. Love it or hate it there are some good thoughts...

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
So hold on to the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?
Chorus:
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
no one knows
(Repeat Chorus)
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
In an mmm bop they're gone.
In an mmm bop they're not there.
Until you lose your hair. But you don't care.
(Repeat Chorus)
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose?
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow?
Can you tell me? You say you can but you don't know.

There is inspiration under your roof

I have 3 house mates. this weekend;

one ran a marathon (in San Francisco = lots of hills!)

another got the job she wanted 

and the other moved beyond a broken heart to reconnect with an old friend.

48 hours and a lot of inspiring action.

We talk about appreciating what we have 'in our own back yard' but one better, you dont even have to get out of bed to share some commonalities. If you don't have inspiration under your own roof;

1: look harder

2: do something inspiring

3: move. 

I'm really proud of you ladies! 

New York City is a 2 part process

New York City is a two part process.

step one: get here. 


step two: act like it. do things that you can't do when your not here, start something new, sink your teeth and savor the taste. 

Do someone a favor- reach out and reconnect

What were these guys thinking? What ever it was they didn't let it get in the way.

Knowledge is important, wisdom is valuable, feeling is a must but intuition is boss. 

10 years either side.

I just watched this and thought ten years ago, when I was their age how would I have answered? And would I be happy with the way I spent my decade?

I couldn't have imagined that I could have created the life that I have lived. I would have said I wanted to be a dancer on broadway and married to my boyfriend. A life that i could have been happy living but I was never brave enough to imagine I could have the life I truly desired and so never dared dream it out loud, not even to myself.
If I had any idea that ten years later I would be where I am, with the friends and memories that I have  I never would have believed it.  Somehow I have been blessed to continually stumble upon another rung of the ladder and keep climbing.

So what about in ten years from now?
I want to not worry about money. Easy answer. But as soon as I had it  I realized that worrying about money doesn't need to be tired to how much I have; it's a choice that I can make right now to not worry about money. So that's the plan...

Where have you been and where are you going?

And on that note Bon Voyage to dear Toby who headed south today to share his beauty, passion and spark around our world. Blessed are those who cross your path and see the real you.  Really going to miss your texts mate, please take care of you.

Your parents are going to screw you up.

Your parents are going to screw you up. Their parents did it to them and there will be something in your children that you will miss read too. It happens. Because they too are human. And when, moments or years down the line they make the effort, however slight, pay them the forgiveness they have earned.

Often, at the same time you will need to graciously give them some forgiveness on credit. Or good history or a personal reference or the smell of hope. They will need this; as they have the eyes that see how everything they did came from love. Or fear or ignorance that they wish they were not bound by.

Forgiveness on credit is for them and there for is not about you.

They need the space it creates to grow and learn new ways and responses. For you, as you are today, are not what they have always known; you have grown through many versions of yourself. And you are used to being watched by their eyes (or absence of them) as you grow.

But learning how to have a new convocation with your now grown child is a new thing for your parents, probably a first. And you know what they say about the old dog with the new trick.

It can. With kind words, patience, treats and its own will. But its owner can always choose to be happy even if the dog just sits all day long. Sitting is still something to be thankful for.

*this is in no way an attack on my parents or the people who played parental rolls in my life. 

So I published this post, copied the link to my Facebook status and directly under it was this clip. Not directly related but intruding thoughts about parents needs, purpose and potential. I love these synchronises.

This is such a great reminder that people are doing rad things in the world. 

Amazing right? 

Embrace the beauty of the curvy woman but remember she is airbrushed too.

Pizza looks great in the commercials right? Have you ever heard the process that it takes to get that shot? It includes gluing on the pepperoni so it's just right and nailing the majority of the pizza to a board so the cheese stretches perfectly as 'you' grab a slice. It may not be a ripe juicy Mc Donalds tomato bouncing through a refreshing stream of clear water but it is staged and air brushed all the same. 

This following story has been blowing up on facebook today. It's fostering a sense of sisterhood and providing men a  platform to endorse diverse body types.  While it's awesome and maybe a glimpse of the direction we are heading in as we constantly redefine 'beauty' please don't assume that because she is plus size/ "real"/ not stick thin she has not been airbrushed. 

For so long 'perfect' has been sononomous with 'skinny'. But I think pushing images of airbrushed people of any size and calling them 'real' to distinguish them from skinny is no better. No more productive for evolving on any level. Healthy choices are.

Use this icon to remind yourself to take a moment and embrace yourself, not as an example of what you are susposed to look like in your 'real moments'.

None the less the story has connected with so many people for a really good reason.

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way: 

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.
They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.
They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.


But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?
They would have no sex life and could not bear children.
Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.
And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.
We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.
Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn)
Last comment: I'm not putting down thin people, being a thin woman myself (BMI of 22 maybe?) just saying that being large doesn't equate to being unattractive.

some of STEVE JOBS' wisdom in a speach titled "HOW TO LIVE BEFORE YOU DIE".

When we pass away the amount of people that know we have passed is usually correlated to the amount of people that we impacted during our life time. That is not to say that the empire of our legacy wont be greater after we die (Van Gogh is a golden example) or manifest though others. Or that the collective respect and adoration from millions of people is anymore valuable that from a single person.

Almost instantly news of Steve Jobs passing was global news. Messages of love, respect and gratitude began circulating on the very creations of his vision; iPhones, iPads, iTunes. Personally I heard the news while using my beloved macbook. Even if you didn't have a Apple Mac product in sight when you heard the news the world around you would be radically different without this mans vision and creation.

Practically he provided us the tools to express ourselves and connect with each other (in pretty font). But he (and Mac) also birthed a new playing field; one so expansive there was enough room for us to all dream bigger. Mac raised the status quo and we live in a better world because of it. 

This is the commencement speech he gave at Stanford University in 2005- filmed by Ted Talks